Veto-Based Trust: Is That Trusting?
A lot of people (a LOT of people, including myself) who just “opened up” their relationship, that kind of security. It feels scary to...
Should I Let My Dom(me) Help Me With (Self) Discipline?
Self-discipline, self-appreciation and help of a Dom(me) This week Hans answers a reader's question...
Hi Hans, I want to ask my Dom(me) to help me...
About Love & Rules
The other day I came across a post on fetlife by petroglyph about love and rules. She talked in a beautiful way about the...
Are we Going for Love or Divorce?
For me, the goal of relationship coaching is: “It’s about bringing back respect, tension and love in the relation. Or keeping the mutual respect...
Midwives & Antenatal Nurses: Go Kink-Aware
I am sitting with my doula over a cup of tea, talking about my last birth experience. We chuckle about the fact that in...
We Need Kink-Aware Health Care for Kink-Oriented Patients
I remember sitting at our gynecologist with my husband after we found out that I was pregnant with my second daughter. “Congratulations, so -...
Freedom & Relationship Rules (Wait, Rules?)
The BDSM people amongst us probably will start smiling a bit when they read this headline. But I don’t really want to talk about...
Emancipated Through Submission
That doesn’t make sense, right? A submissive, a slave even - and emancipated? Surely this is just some kink propaganda. A BDSM advocate painting...
The Mismatch Between Expectation and Investment
A problem you will often see in a relationship is the mismatch between expectation and investment. Let me be clear: I am the first...
Alpha Subs: Letting Go of the Control Freak
Hi! My name is Nicole! I’m 28 and very new to the BDSM world and community! First I want to thank you for your...